Everyone could use the guidance of a mentor now and then--even a Grammy-nominated recording star. This was the reasoning behind the recent pairing of U.S. Representative Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick (D, Michigan) with neo-soul singer Angie Stone in a mentor-mentee relationship at Sister 2 Sister Magazine's Intergenerational Celebration in September 2003.

"Celebrities have a lot of influence. Young people look at what they do," says Sister 2 Sister publisher and owner Jamie Foster Brown of the motivation behind pairing young, African-American celebrities with mentors who can help guide their personal and professional growth. "Putting these young celebrities with politicians and corporate people is important because they learn so much from them. Our young people need to know more of their history. They have to learn how they got [to where they are] and why they got there. Just as Jewish people pass on their traditions and stories from generation to generation, that's what we [African Americans] must do."

Each year for the past five years Sister 2 Sister Magazine has paired celebrities from different generations and announced the bond during a star-studded celebration of their respective achievements. Also paired at this year's Intergenerational Celebration were Cash Money Records CEO Brian "Baby" Williams and U.S. Rep. Charles Rangel (D, New York).

"I love the fact that someone looks up to other people," says Stone of the pairing concept. "I love being a mentor [to others] myself." She expresses admiration for Rep. Kilpatrick, as well the first mentors in her life: her parents. The Columbia, S.C. native lauds her mother as being "grounded, spiritually balanced, a thoroughbred." Of her father, she told the audience gathered at the Intergenerational Celebration: "Dad walked away from a pro sports career (to raise a family) because back in the day--when men were real men--once he had a child he couldn't walk away from my mom."

After the Intergenerational Celebration, Stone sat down with NiaOnline to share a little wisdom of her own.

The Main Ingredient

Since the days when she was Angie B. of the pioneering all-female rap trio Sequence, Angie Stone has been an influential ingredient in the mix of popular music. Behind the scenes she has collaborated with artists such as Mary J. Blige, Erykah Badu and Lenny Kravitz. Most notably, she collaborated with R&B superstar D'Angelo, with whom she has a son, Michael. (She also has an older daughter named Diamond.)

In 1999 she broke out on her own, with the debut album Black Diamond on Arista Records, from which came the hit single "No More Rain (In This Cloud)." Two years later she scored more hits with her sophomore effort, Mahogany Soul--including the top dance hit "I Wish I Didn't Miss You." She also has received a Grammy nomination for her duet with Joe, "More Than a Woman." Most recently, she appeared in the hit movie, "The Fighting Temptations," which the gospel-trained singer claims was a uniquely powerful experience. "The fact that we did that movie in church gave us the revelation that even though we were filming, we were in fact fellowshipping right there," says Stone.

In Front of the Eight-ball

Though her signature style has been one of the soul sister with a bumpin' blow-out and electrifying pipes, the Angie Stone that sat down to speak with NiaOnline sported long, straightened tresses and low-key, reflective demeanor. Call it proof that efforts to pigeon-hole her--whether it be as as D'Angelo's talented baby's mama or as a standard bearer for the new Afro chic--will always come up empty.

In fact, her determination to stand out as an individual is an inspiration for the current album that she is working on, which is scheduled for release on J Records in February or March of 2004. "[The record label] pushed against the original name I wanted, "Diary of a Soul Sista." So I want to call it 'Eight-ball,'" she said. "The name comes from my hip-hop background, and from being the 'black sheep,' you know, the black ball that stands out in the midst of situations. But the eight-ball is also the dominant player on the table, the one that wins the game. I consider myself to be the eight-ball."

To help her maintain her game face--as an entertainer as well as a single mom, a deeply spiritual Stone says she relies upon the power of prayer. "I pray a whole lot. I fellowship when I'm driving in my car....I can be anywhere and strike up a conversation with God," she admits. "Even though I know he might not always answer me right away, it helps me. It doesn't take away the sadness immediately, but it helps me cope."

Of course, there are those days when hormones can nearly drown out the best attempts of any sister to cope. It was for such days that all women experience that Stone sings "That Time of the Month." (Mahogany Soul) "It's that time of the month/Don't even mess with me," growls the refrain. Explains Stone: "In any relationship you have your ups and downs, but there's one cycle that you can't get around. [The way you feel] is due to a chemical imbalance, resulting in the crankiness, the edginess, all of the things that fall into being aggravated to the tenth degree. You ask: 'What do I feel this way?' Women need to know that 'you're not the only one. You're not crazy.'"

Holding Back To Give Forth

While "That Time of the Month," may be a warning to any brother who is foolish enough to cross a PMS-ing sister, Stone also includes on Mahogany Soul a heartfelt anthem of support for Black men: "Brotha." It therefore seemed fitting to ask her advice on what Black women should be doing more of in support of their men. Counsels Stone: "Be less motherly, because we over-mother them and as a result, we weaken them." Then she leans forward slightly and says, "Want to know how I know? Everyone I've lost, I have lost because I mothered them to death."

"We do it because we know Black men are oppressed, we know what they face," she adds. "We don't allow them to work hard enough, and when they become dependent, it's because of that." She goes on to explain that when men feel dependent and powerless at home, they go outside of the relationship to regain that feeling of power. Meanwhile, women give up their power when they chase after unfaithful partners.

There's one more quality that Stone suggest Black women display more of in support of their relationships:

"Patience."

Do you agree with Stone that Black women "over-mother" their men? What do you think of the notion of pairing Black celebrities in mentoring relationships? Share your views, using the comment box below.

In the next "It's About Nia" column, actress Angela Bassett will share her views on managing your money and working with your spouse.

Sheryl Huggins is NiaOnline's editor-in-chief

Published on: 10/24/2003







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