This Memorial Day President Obama will deliver a speech as many Presidents before him have. Telling us, the citizens of this great nation, To Never Forget. Never Forget the men and women in uniform serving this great nation or those that have made the ultimate sacrifice by giving their lives to the enduring fight for freedom. Urging us all today to Never Forget!

His words I’ve no doubt will be sincere, they’ll be punctuated with the emotion of a leader who is criticized for his choices as he tries to do the best he can, as Commander and Chief, as citizen and as a human being. No President, I would imagine, finds the task of sending our loved ones off to uncertain outcomes, easy and I imagine he grapples, like many of us do, to understand why? If this post sounds like a compassionate note to Obama today, it’s because it is. Compassion is the only anchor I have holding me down right now…it’s keeping me from screaming Mr. President…Who are you talking to? Who are you asking not to forget?

Certainly not me…I remember everyday I wake up and and my calendar reminds me that it has been 49 days since he deployed. I remembered on my birthday when he wasn’t there, I remember when I go to the post office to ship boxes of food to him and they are rude to me, or impatiently telling me that I’m filling out customs forms wrong. I’m holding up the line with my box full of goods headed to the service member in my life. There’s a woman behind me that needs to get her Netflicks back on time. A man rolls his eyes as he has other errands to run and would I mind taping up my package out of the way. He just has to get his sons soccer shoes shipped to camp and he’s late for work. As I wait, I can’t forget.

I remember when I count the days between correspondence. I remember when I hear the story like the woman’s in the photo…Her troop came home…but without a face or limbs. Thank you to Nina Berman the photojournalist, for never letting, those who care to look, forget. Trust me Mr. President his mother remembers, his sister and brother remember, his daughter remembers, his friends remember.

Who are you asking to Not Forget? Not the troops that come home badly injured, they remember everyday they learn to live a new life, without a limb or with the nightmares they keep inside. Surely you’re not asking those currently fighting to remember? That would be like asking an eskimo to remember it’s cold outside. So WHO exactly is supposed to remember? The people who see this day as just another day off from work and a great reason to have a BBQ? How can you forget what you don’t think about?

No…today I ask that YOU Mr. President Never Forget. Don’t forget that the 108453 troops on active duty are +1. That +1 means everything to me, his life is a gift and no matter how many boxes I send ,or what I do, ultimately your decisions make the difference. You are the one I want thinking about this war like your own families lives depended on it! Today forget your career, the budget and remember the lives of the people you love most, how you would feel if it were them serving, if it were them lost, because then and only then will you ever be in a position to tell the people really impacted…what they should and shouldn’t be thinking about today!

The Democratic Republic of the Congo as many of you know is the site of over 5
million deaths and hundreds of thousands of rapes in a conflict
spanning more than a decade. Women are imagining peace, yet war
wages on. For the past six years I have been in support and service to these women, through Women for Women International, as they inspire me to imagine a world where women are honored for their power and to act in purpose with my own.

To celebrate International Women’s Day, WFW is hosting a global
campaign called Join me on the Bridge. On March 8, thousands of
women from DR Congo and Rwanda will join together on a bridge
between their countries, calling for an end to war and
demonstrating that women can build the bridges of peace and
development for the future. In solidarity, they are gathering
supporters on bridges all over the world – all of us saying no to
war and yes to peace and hope. Grab your daughter (and son) and join in!

There are several easy ways to get involved, from attending our events
on bridges in London and New York City to gathering friends and
family on a bridge in your own town. Your participation will
truly help us make our shared voice heard as we stand together to
urge the world to realize women’s visions of peace and
prosperity.

For more information on Join me on the Bridge and how you can get involved, please visit www.womenforwomen.org/bridge.

This is a very special time for the global women’s movement. March 8 is International Women’s Day, a time to recognize the profound achievements of women throughout history.

There is nothing more poisonous than feeling sorry for self but it is hard to resist sometimes. When things happen in your life that hurt you or cause pain, to not feel bad is unnatural…inhuman right? You get a divorce, a loved one dies, you say goodbye to a friend or a lover…in my case today one in the same who is heading off to Afghanistan in a few weeks.

I want to feel sorry for myself right now…time is to short, the goodbye will be to difficult but I won’t…I will fight the urge. I will fight the urge and I will go and make him an amazing meal! The best I have ever made in my life and I will hope that are time together and my love for him will never be anything either of us feel sorry for!

Quote Of The Day!

SELF-PITY IS AN OPIATE.

The most insidious problem with drugs is that the human body develops a tolerance for them and requires larger and larger doses to achieve the same effect. The same is true with self-pity. The more you allow yourself to indulge in it, the more you will require.Soon, self-pity will become a habit, one so debilitating that you will rob yourself of all the potential you possess. Happily, there is a cure. If you truly analyze the situation, most often you will find that the problems that have driven you to pity yourself are mostly of your own creation. It follows, then, that the best person to remedy the problem is the person who created it: you yourself.

This positive message is brought to you by the Napoleon Hill Foundation. Visit them at http://www.naphill.org.

Here’s something else they never taught you in school…

Journalist Rebecca Skloot’s new book investigates how a poor black tobacco farmer had a groundbreaking impact on modern medicine.

Who was Henrietta Lacks?

She was a black tobacco farmer from southern Virginia who got cervical cancer when she was 30. A doctor at Johns Hopkins took a piece of her tumor without telling her (shocking) and sent it down the hall to scientists there who had been trying to grow tissues in culture for decades without success. No one knows why, but her cells never died.

Why are her cells so important?

Henrietta’s cells were the first immortal human cells ever grown in culture. They were essential to developing the polio vaccine. They went up in the first space missions to see what would happen to cells in zero gravity. Many scientific landmarks since then have used her cells, including cloning, gene mapping and in vitro fertilization.
There has been a lot of confusion over the years about the source of HeLa cells. Why?
When the cells were taken, they were given the code name HeLa, for the first two letters in Henrietta and Lacks. Today, anonymizing samples is a very important part of doing research on cells. But that wasn’t something doctors worried about much in the 1950s, so they weren’t terribly careful about her identity. When some members of the press got close to finding Henrietta’s family, the researcher who’d grown the cells made up a pseudonym—Helen Lane—to throw the media off track. Other pseudonyms, like Helen Larsen, eventually showed up, too. Her real name didn’t really leak out into the world until the 1970s.

Why are we not surprised that she was covered up from history for so long but now it’s out. Read the entire story and the interview that reveals how the truth came to light here.

Article taken from the Smithsonian Magazine for a Black History Minute!

WARNING: 2010 Census Cautions from the Better Business Bureau

With the U.S. Census process beginning, the Better Business Bureau (BBB) advises people to be cooperative, but cautious, so as not to become a victim of fraud or identity theft. The first phase of the 2010 U.S. Census is under way as workers have begun verifying the addresses of households across the country. Eventually, more than 140,000 U.S. Census workers will count every person in the United States, and will gather information about every person living at each address including name, age, gender, race, and other relevant data. Data that in the wrong hands could cause a big problem for you!

The big question is – how do you tell the difference between a U.S. Census worker and a con artist?

The BBB offers the following advice:

1) If a U.S. Census worker knocks on your door, they will have a badge, a handheld device, a Census Bureau canvas bag, and a confidentiality notice. Ask to see their identification and their badge before answering their questions. Never invite anyone you don’t know into your home.

2) Census workers are currently only knocking on doors to verify address information.
Do not give your Social Security number, credit card, or banking information to anyone, even if they claim they need it for the U.S. Census. May sound like common sense but you’d be surprised how much people will tell someone with a badge and a clipboard.

While the Census Bureau might ask for basic financial information, such as a salary range, the Census Bureau will not ask for Social Security, bank account, or credit card numbers, nor will employees solicit donations.

3) THE CENSUS BUREAU HAS DECIDED NOT TO WORK WITH ACORN ON GATHERING INFORMATION.
No Acorn worker should approach you saying he/she is with the Census Bureau.

4) Census workers may contact you by telephone, mail, or in person at home.
However, the Census Bureau will not contact you by Email, so be on the lookout for Email scams impersonating the Census. Never click on a link or open any attachments in an Email that are supposedly from the U.S. Census Bureau.

What is it with people always trying to manage other peoples expectations? The idea of under promise and over deliver…or maybe just deliver at all, has now permeated our culture. Having an expectation of another person is like having herpes. You just have to manage through the outbreaks. The holidays make it worse…people are just running wild with a rampant case of expectations.

I ask myself though…what is so wrong with having expectations?

I hear people talk about Tiger Woods and when my male friends and I discuss it, the conversation can get rather heated and you begin to see the cracks form down the gender expectation fault line. Things are said like “What did his wife expect”? “Why does she expect to get so much?” “Did we expect to much from him?” “Were his family and personal expectations to high?” To high for whom? My favorite is…”what can we expect from him now”?

Expectations are mathematical…they are about probability based on a certain number of factors. How do you do that in marriage? Or in any relationship? What’s the probability my boyfriend will cheat on me? What can I expect?

The holidays are here and family get togethers are being crafted, fine tuned and fought over as we speak. Expectations are being lowered all around us. The probability this aunt will show up and say something offensive, the probability this uncle will get drunk and pass out, the probability the kids will do the dishes? The probability my spouse will get me what my heart desires? What do you expect this year?

This year has given me more than I could’ve ever expected and I am thankful for all of it. Going into a new decade I expect so much and then some from myself and from the people around me. This morning I did the math and the probability of me getting it all…highly likely!

Have you ever been scammed? Have you ever bought into one of those sappy chain letters from people asking for money for sick children? Bought a car from a “friend of a friend” trying to save a few dollars, only to find out in the end that it’s a lemon and ultimately going to cost you more in repairs over the long run? Dated a guy and found out he was a not a successful doctor but actually on America’s Most Wanted list of serial killers? Have you had those feelings of shock and disbelief set in, followed by rage and in most cases shame…you don’t want to say anything because you think everyone will think you’re an idiot and given you feel like one, the affirmation from friends and loved ones is just not needed. How could you be so dumb…echos all around you.

That happened to me last week, but instead of staying silent…I told everyone and now I’m telling you. It was a life lesson I will never forget, and I told the scam artist as much too…I am awaiting his response.

It all started with a mix of desperation, anxiousness, fear and exhaustion on my end. I needed to find an apt right away and low on cash, with my credit still tied up in an old property, I needed a miracle. I prayed on it, cried about it, complained about it and spent hours in an online search…then as if a gift from God I came across the perfect place. When I say perfect, I mean it was a dream come true or as some would say…“To Good To Be True” , A phrase I hate.

I spoke to the supposed owners of an apt and after a few telephone conversation, some background info on them and me being exchanged, it was with excitement and relief, I was on my way to sending them a very large deposit in exchange for a 1yr contract and the keys, since I am currently out of state and couldn’t meet them in person.
What a blessing…it was the light after the darkness. I was being rewarded for my tenacity in adversity, for my hardships and pains. Isn’t that what were told? There is a payoff after the suffering? It’s in practically every theological marketing plan ever presented.

As soon as I said… what a blessing I knew I was in trouble and a sinking feeling came over me…something wasn’t right. That’s just pessimism and old thinking, I told myself. I need to change my outlook, I needed this to be right and I wasn’t going to let fear and doubt hold me back anymore. Why can’t this wonderful thing be happening to me? I deserve it right? Luckily a friend called and as I was talking to him through what could only be described a euphoric high…he cautioned me and told me to put the brakes on and ask these owners a few more questions, but not to send them one dime. “It sounds like a scam babes”, he said after I gave him all the details, let me help you check it out. “If it sounds to good to be true, it probably is” he said. “Yes… but I said you were to good to be true when I met you, so what does that mean?” I retorted. Sadly, in this case he was right! He has yet to comment on himself.

I was the dupe in an apt scam being run out of Nigeria, apparently where lots of scams are run out of these days. Who knew? A couple tells you they need you to sublet their place while they are away on an extended job and then you pay first and last, sign a fake lease and get to the apt only to find out, it’s not real. They even take legit listings and doctor them up so if you search, you see the apt is on the market. I promptly sent the “family” an email, likely some scammer in a Nigerian Kinko’s, asking him straight out if he was a lying, pathetic loser…guess what? He denied the whole thing and assured me it was real. So then I started scamming him, told him I was sending someone to see the place and that I couldn’t wait to meet his doorman, what’s his name I asked. Guess what? No response.

I felt foolish for a minute, then I laughed and realized anybody can be taken. My being trusting and someone being a liar has nothing to do with each other. Being trusting doesn’t make someone become bad. Bad people are bad people because of themselves. People always say to victims of scams…”you should’ve known better” or worse… “If you were that stupid, you should’ve been taken.” After some research I found a whole group of people who had been scammed in this and similar kinds of rouses. I even found an FBI notice about it.

But more importantly I learned what often creates a victim and it’s not IQ, it’s more like when you are desperate and anxious you will look for miracles…for something which will save, relieve, comfort or solve your problem and it’s in this state that you become vulnerable. Rarely are people truly “stupid”. Unfortunately, I have more occasions for being taken, in numerous ways, that I’m not ashamed to say. Growing up with addicts, I was always desperate to escape and often fell into the hands of those who smelled vulnerability and opportunity. I was always looking for the miracle to relieve my pain…no such thing. What’s the difference between a blessing, a miracle or plain “Dumb Luck”

In the end, I don’t have a new place to live right now, although I am working on it with a legitimate broker and wouldn’t you know it…I didn’t win the African Lottery either!

You may remember the tragic and sick story of former NFL Player Rae Carruth, who murdered his pregnant girlfriend Cherica because she wouldn’t have an abortion? Well pro-lifers and all of us should celebrate the triumph of life, as that baby that was not to be turned 10 yrs. old today!

Chancellor Lee Adams is the son of Rae and Cherica, and although disabled due to the injuries his mother sustained, when his father hired a hit man to kill her, Chancellor is celebrating his first decade by beginning to walk, something doctors said was impossible, and doing well with his loving grandmother. Grandmother’s are God Gift aren’t they?

Happy 10th Birthday Chancellor, many blessings ahead and may your mother rest in peace and your father rot in hell!

People are already buzzing about Chris Rock’s documentary “Good Hair.”

The film, which opens Oct. 9 in select cities and Oct. 23 nationwide, takes a sometimes humorous look at the many aspects of black women’s hair – from the economics of the black haircare industry to the social, psychological and physical health aspects of haircare choices like weaves and chemical relaxers.

“I liked the film overall. Lots of other people have done films about black women and hair, but Chris Rock will get the kind of audience and wide distribution that many independent film makers never will,” said A’Lelia Bundles, Washington, D.C.

Bundles comes to the film from a unique perspective. She was interviewed for the documentary as the biographer and great-great-granddaughter for black hair care pioneer Madam C.J. Walker. Bundles said there are some things she would have liked to have seen in the film such as the messages sent by mothers and black men as well as in music videos. But she noted it would be impossible to cover everything.

Said Bundles, “At the very least I hope he has held up a mirror that will make our community think about where we are spending our money and why so many of us are not at peace with our natural hair.”

But how much of an impact “Good Hair” will really have is up for debate.

“It made me think about whether relaxing one’s hair with lye is truly
safe over the long haul but to be honest I just got a relaxer today,
so I must not be all that concerned,” said Tandaleya Wilder, who heads her own public relations firm, She Got Game PR Boutique, in Miami Beach, FL.

Lorraine Morris, co-author of “Work It, Girl! The Black Woman’s Guide to Professional Success” said she thinks the scenes juxtaposing a disintegrating aluminum can sitting in relaxer with those of young girls getting relaxers will raise a lot of eyebrows.

“My daughter is eight and has a naturally curly texture to her hair,” said Morris, who wears a relaxer. “I think she’ll be a teenager before I’d even consider any type of chemical treatment for her hair. It was heartbreaking to see the really young girl getting a relaxer (in the documentary).”

Others said they doubted the film would really change the choices people make when it comes to their hair.

“For now, long is in. It will take more than a film. It will take societal change,” said Mary C. Curtis, a journalist based in Charlotte, NC.

Adrienne Samuels, senior editor arts and entertainment for Ebony, said if nothing else, “Good Hair” may get some people to think twice not only about their haircare choices, but about using phrases like “good hair.”

“I think it’s important to understand your own personal choice for the hair that you have,” said Samuels who switches between relaxing her hair and straightening it with a hot comb. “I applaud women who aren’t afraid to use various hair methods as temporary solutions to problems or temporary boosts for special occasions. I feel sorry for those who use such solutions because they are ashamed of being black. “And those people who are ashamed are the ones that I hope this movie reaches.”

- Karyn D. Collins is a New Jersey-based writer.

Labor Day…for most it’s the line of demarcation for Summer fun and for wearing white shoes, growing up in a thriving economy who ever really thought about the day that is to celebrate the worker? Celebrate work? Are you kidding, most of us want to get away from it. Besides, we have so many happy holidays who could reasonably ask us to find reverence in this one in particular? There are no fireworks, there are no hallmark cards, no jingly tv commercials…but what’s the saying about never noticing something until you need it? Labor Day is like the distant uncle with bad breath you always ignore, until you find out he’s rich and you’re broke.

Looking at recent labor statistics it doesn’t seem as if there is really anything to celebrate. For sale signs are everywhere, people are more stressed about jobs and money than ever and here arrives Labor Day, seemingly poking its nose at us saying…”you should’ve appreciated it me more, NOW you miss me!”

I think we could all use this day to remember how good we had it, and learn from how much we took for ganted. In this country, I believe Labor Day should be treated on par with Christmas or at least St. Patrick’s day. Give its own card, have the kids make cookies shaped like jobs…after all this nation was built big and strong by collective hard labor and we will only rise again through it!

HAPPY LABOR DAY!