Domestic abuse or violence is traumatic within of itself, but to publicly witness an aftermath that results in death is a tragedy for us all. This morning, the grave news that Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chris Henry has died, one day after falling out of the back of a pickup truck in what authorities described as a domestic dispute with his fiancée, has riveted most. According to the Associated Press, Charlotte-Mecklenburg police said Henry died at 6:36 a.m. Thursday. Henry was 26. Henry was rushed to the hospital Wednesday after being found on a residential road. Police said the dispute began at a home about a half-mile away, and Henry jumped into the bed of the pickup truck as his fiancée was driving away from the residence. Police said at some point when she was driving, Henry “came out of the back of the vehicle.” Henry is engaged to Loleini Tonga, and the couple has been raising three children.
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For children, young teens and adults, this is a continued wake-up call to action. A zero tolerance decree must become embedded in our mind, body and soul. Domestic abuse and violence typically isn’t an overnight sensation. It slowly penetrates relationships – parental, romantic, platonic, and spousal among others. It often escalates from threats and verbal abuse to physical violence and even murder. And while physical injury may be the most obvious danger, the emotional and psychological consequences of domestic abuse are also severe.
Parents, be mindful, children model your words and behavior in disagreeable situations. If your child exhibits overly aggressive behavior and is being called a bully by other children or teachers, address the situation now. Don’t overlook it as child play. All persons involved are ‘victims.’ The loss of dignity, self-respect, self-esteem, emotional well-being that shatters the soul can have adverse results, start during childhood and evolve throughout ones life if left unaddressed.
Clearly, no one deserves this kind of pain—and the first step to breaking free is recognizing, acknowledging that a situation is abusive. Once you acknowledge the reality of the abusive situation, then help is the next step. The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides useful information help identify domestic abuse and violence, and hurdle over denial. We need to be informed for self-protection and self-preservation.
Lisa Newell
Thank you very much for this commentary! I think that we should not be afraid to speak on something that threatens to undermine and tear apart the human family worldwide. For some people, they can salvage what they have because of making a commitment to themselves and God, but that is not always the case.
My heart goes out to Chris Henry and his family because I know this must be devastating. My prayer is for families everywhere to get help and seek counseling, if necessary. Love is our most powerful weapon against this madness (1 corinthians 13…powerful love passage!). None of us will ever be perfect, but we can always strive to be better. Loving someone should not hurt or be forced, it is gentle and beautiful! It longs to build up and preserve, not to destroy.