Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover would have been 12 years old on Friday, April 17, but instead of planning for the happy occasion, he took his own life on Monday, April 6.  Why would an 11-year-old boy with his whole life ahead of him and a family who loved him, hang himself? The answer is shocking! 

Carl was bullied to the point he felt his life wasn’t worth living.  From the day this bright student began the New Leadership Charter School in Massachuetts he was faced with constant ridicule and teasing by fellow students who called him, among other things, ”gay and feminine.”

This realization is a frightening and sad testament to the lack of civility and respect amongst our children and the lack of leadership in schools that would tolerate a student to endure constant abuse without addressing it head on.  Parents are also responsible to raise children with a sense of respect for others.   Did the parents of these bully’s know what was happening?  Could the parents have been more involved? 

What is the message and the lesson learned from the death of this child? Will the school takes steps to make sure this doesn’t happen again?  Will the students who bullied Carl get counseling?  Will the parents look at themselves and how they are raising or enabling a bully to terrorize other children?  

And don’t let the media make this a gay issue, because this is a child not an adult.  Anderson Cooper had the mother on AC360 and the gay coalition jumped in because it was an opportunity to further their cause.  The mother quickly reminded Anderson and the guest, this was an 11-year-old boy.  The principal and staff should have made more of an effort to intervene on behalf of Carl. His mother shared the child’s concerns daily.

Kids are cruel, I know that.  However, kids mimic the society they live in and the families they are reared among.  Before sexual orientation it was race, gender, or religion.  There is always going to be a reason for cruelty and bullying against weaker children.   But there must be zero-tolerance for bullies, hatred, and cruelty!  Mind you, this isn’t the first suicide in a middle school this year. 

When did intolerance become the rule of the land?  Any anti-bullying policy is only as good as the teachers and administration who are willing to enforce it.  Everyone failed Carl! 

Let’s not fail any more children!  Know what’s happening in your schools.  If you know your child can be cruel, then guide and discipline them when appropriate.  Take the time to talk with and listen to your children.  Put yourself in their little shoes and understand how powerful and painful the perception of their peers is on their self-esteem, self-worth and self-value. 

We have this moment to make a difference!

Blanche Williams 4/25/2009