I’m off my media diet, the one that required that I consume no information: 1. About celebrities or celebrity culture 2. That confirms my negative expectations and 3. Makes me feel powerless. Within an hour without these information constraints I felt stressed, trivialized, overwhelmed, generally pissed off, and mentally, physically and psychically bloated. Barely a shred of focused, empowering, serious, positive, necessary information I could use was to be found in our world of infotainment. By the time I dug through to what was useful, I was so tired I passed out in the intellectual equivalent of a sugar overload!

Little had changed during my two weeks of curtailed info consumption, and what change there was was for the worst. Am I alone in thinking that if the racist, right wing citizens who can’t bear the existence of a President Barack Obama had arms and a treasury they’d secede like their literal and spiritual ancestors did in 1850 and and we’d be in the midst of the second Civil War? (FYI, they’re amassing arms at this moment.) Does anyone really believe their alleged concerns – about health care, deficit spending, domestic policy, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, judicial nominees, on and on and on – have do do with anything other than a policy of “Just Say No To Everything” when it comes from the Obama administration? Where were these jerks when Bush-Cheney were invading countries for no reason, erasing the Constitution, flipping the bird to victims of Hurricane Katrina, creating a Supreme Court majority of corporate lackeys, earning the United States most loathed nation status…I could go on, but I’m breaking out in a sweat, feel my blood pressure rising, and even though it’s not 9am I’m contemplating waiting outside the bakery until it opens so I can scarf a few cupcakes.

Dag, they’re even critical of Michelle Obama’s efforts to combat childhood obesity and encourage exercise and better eating. Apparently even these post-modern, 21st century updates on the tradition purview of Mammy and sharecropper are too much to bear coming from a smart, educated, uppity Black woman. It’s time, Mr. President, in the words of the civil rights era athem, to tell these racist, stupid, corporate lackeys masquerading as public servants to “move on over, or we’ll move on over you.” The nearly 70 million people who voted for you have your back, Barack, but nothing lasts forever. Time for the beatdown and the big payback, my brother. You are the ruler of the so-called free world.

Still, one must be on the information highway to find what information is true, useful and empowering. I am trying to find that balance. The diet was a pleasure and brought a redefinition of priorities. Now, I’ve just got to get the proportions right. Working on that new formula, will keep you posted. Please visit me at jillnelson.com and Stay Tuned for information and applications to attend my retreat, “Making the 3rd Chapter Fabulous: Prose! Pilates! Yoga! Passion!” August 31-September 5 on the lovely island of Martha’s Vineyard.

Jill Nelson 3/3/10 – The blog with the musical notes!

As promised, an excerpt from Chapter One of my new novel, Let’s Get It On, just published.
Hope you enjoy. For more info check out my web site.

What’s going on with those arms, sisters? If you’re living in an unseasonably cold and rainy part of the world as I am, summer, beach, and sleeveless days seem far away. Frankly, I’d just as soon cuddle up with a good book, blanket, and fattening foodstuff, sweet or savory makes me no difference. Some days it’s just too cold for salad! But we must resist! Link tothe blog entry with the arm exercises here. Keep on! The sun will soon return. I need my arm strength for lifting and signing all those books. And you?

Jill Nelson 6/5/09 – The blog with the musical notes!

Chapter I

Wanda

You know that saying “Payback is a bitch”? Well, you can believe it. And in the case of Marshall v. McGruder-Forbes et al., the bitch in question is me, LaShaWanda P. Marshall, and I’m proud of it.

Not that I wasn’t nervous as hell an hour ago when those twelve jurors filed in. When the bailiff instructed the courtroom to rise, my knees felt wobbly and I could feel puddles of sweat form between my breasts and behind my knees, and begin to flow downward, and I’m not a sister who ruffles easily or takes kindly to perspiration.Then C. Virgil Susquehanna, the presiding judge, swept into the court and I couldn’t keep a slight smile from my face. Six foot four, black as a cast-iron skillet, with chiseled cheekbones, a broad forehead, liquid brown eyes, and full lips, C. Virgil strode into the courtroom exuding confidence and power. Did I mention he is gorgeous? In his early sixties, he not only bears out the old adage “Black don’t crack,” he is living proof that it gets better with age. During the three weeks he’d been hearing my suit to recover $2 million in commissions plus interest stolen from me by my former employer, the Wall Street investment bank McGruder-Forbes, I’d tried to read him, with no success. He was at all times courtly and attentive, and kept a serious poker face. Even when he was overruling an objection from the battery of evil attorneys McGruder-Forbes had arrayed against me or sustaining one from my lone attorney, Debi Mountain, it was impossible to get a sense of which way he was leaning. I guess he took seriously those scales of justice and the need for fairness, but damn, sometimes a sister can use a break.

By the time the court officer handed him that paper from the jury, I’d surrendered to the sweat in every crevice of my body, and being a plus-size sister, there were more than a few of them. Big-ass pigeons, not delicate, ladylike butterflies, were wreaking havoc in my stomach, and if my fingers, each nail adorned for luck with red, black, green, and gold four-leaf clovers painted by my wild cousin Sukey, nail artist extraordinaire, hadn’t been firmly planted on the table in front of me, my legs alone wouldn’t have been enough to get me up. As different as our respective lines of work are, both me and the judge are in businesses where failure to rise is a serious offense. I didn’t want to be cited for contempt of court.

My ears were ringing so hard and my stomach churning so loud the only way I knew that Judge Susquehanna asked if the jury had reached a verdict and that the forewoman said yes is because I’ve watched enough episodes of Law & Order to know the drill. I couldn’t hear a thing.You know how when you fly, your ears clog up and don’t pop until you touch down? Well, that’s what happened to me. Touchdown came when the judge read the words, “In the case of LaShaWanda P. Marshall v. McGruder-Forbes, we find the defendants guilty.” Suddenly the pigeons in my stomach went home to roost with those chickens Malcolm X talked about in 1963, that sweat dried up in its own tracks, and I could hear again. Not only that, but I was $2-million-plus-interest richer, more than enough money to replace the suit on my back…

Or even better, franchise A Sisters Spa, our already successful brothel providing women with fabulous, multi-orgasmic, safe sex, to a yacht off the coast of Massachusetts. Just over three miles as the eagle—and I do mean the ones on U.S. Treasury notes—flies. A short and scenic water shuttle ride from the island of Martha’s Vineyard.

I’m not in Georgia, I’m in Massachusetts, but it’s a rainy night. And morning, afternoon and evening. Did I say cold, too? The rain is good for gardens, but trying for gardeners. Luckily, I’m a reader too, and what better weather to stay inside with a good book and a hot drink. In between reading, you know I’ll be working those arms. Winter can’t last forever, can it? Summertime – and sleeveless days – are coming!

Jill Nelson 5/29/09 – The blog with musical links!

Responding to a bill aimed at curbing some of their nefarious practices passed by the Senate on Tuesday, May 19 by a vote of 90 – 5, and expected to be passed by the House today and on the President’s desk by the end of the week, credit  card companies plan to make up the loss. How? By creating more fees for those with good credit. The cardholders who use credit frequently and pay their balance in full each month, avoiding astronomical interest payment and debt.

(And you thought old folks couldn’t speak good English when they called it “Credick?”)

Banks taking out expensive life insurance policies on employees, with themselves – not the worker’s family – as beneficiaries? Another way to fatten the corporate coffers and underwrite deferred compensation programs over the dead bodies – well, actually in this case, on the dead bodies - of employees. Can we revisit the definition of bloodsucking vampires, please? There’s something wrong with this picture, the one drawn by corporate greed smothering the country most of us would like to live in.

It’s enough to make a sister scarf a slab of red velvet cake slathered with cream cheese frosting with pecans, but that’d just add to the destruction. Instead I plan to get rid of as much debt as possible. Go through my credit cards, pay any balances off ASAP, and call the card issuer and ask for a lower interest rate. If any company imposes fees or cancels a program because I’m a good customer, I plan to call and let them know I’ll cancel my card if they continue. If your company suggests taking life insurance out on you, be suspicious and get some legal advice.

One thing we don’t need advice on is the need to be healthy and strong. Add the Sitting Overhead Shoulder Press to the Great Arms by June exercise regimen. (Begin with fists and add weight after three days.)  Do 3 sets of 8 of these a day.

Jill Nelson, 5/20/09 — The blog with musical links!

Happy May Day and what a week. President Obama marks 100 days in office. Swine flu. Chrysler bankrupt. Desperate to get re-elected – although at 79 shouldn’t he be thinking retirement? – Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter flees the lunatic fringe group known as the Republican Party and becomes a Democrat. (For those rejoicing at Specters defection, let’s not forget his sneering, contemptuous questioning of Anita Hill during the Clarence Thomas hearings in 1991 or that he voted to confirm Thomas.)

Speaking of the Supreme Court, Justice David Souter to retire in June, making way for Obama’s first nominee to the court. A black woman? Can he appoint Michelle? How about Anita Hill? Wouldn’t that serve Clarence Thomas and Arlen Specter right? Ah, sweet justice.

I’m delighted and buoyed by a report on the 2008 election released this week by the Pew Research Center that identifed BLACK WOMEN as the group with the highest voter turnout rate. Talk about lifting as he climbs!

Okay, now that we’ve put Barack and Michelle in the White House, there’s still a lot of work to be done and no time to be overwhelmed. What good would that do? Instead, I’m going to stay healthy and strong armed for the heavy lifting ahead.

Everyone who’s on the Great Arms by June journey with me should be doing the following exercise every other day:

Arm Circles. Lateral Arm Raises. Bicep Curls. Tricep Dips.

Three sets of 8 repetitions of each exercise, (That’s 72 reps) 3 Times a day, every other day.

My Order: 1. Arm Circles, 2. Bicep Curls, 3. Lateral Arm Raises, 4. Tricep dips. Then the same series 2 more times.

Jill Nelson, 5/1/09

Last night I took my 93-year-old father to hear The Harlem Quartet at Harlem Stage, a performing arts venue in – where else? – Harlem. It was wonderful to sit and listen to these four supremely talented young musicians, all first place winners in a competition sponsored by the amazing Sphinx Organization, joyously play music. A bonus was the a question and answer session in which they interacted easily with the audience as they talked about how and why they do what they do. Did I mention that the concert was free, as are many of the events at Harlem Stage? The Sphinx Organization, Harlem Stage and the Harlem Quartet deserve our patronage and support, especially in these tough economic times.

For my father, who like many elderly black people wears some sort of Obamabilia – a hat, button, scarf, fleece jacket – every day, there was no need to choose between music and the President’s news conference - we watched it on the internet when we got home. My father confided to me that when he thinks about being 93 and living in an America with the first president of African descent, all he can say is “Wow.”

Speaking of wow, how are those arm exercises going? This week, increase the Arm Cirles to 2 sets and add 1 or 3 pound weights to the Bicep Curls. If you don’t have weights, go to the kitchen cabinet and find something with the equivalent weight, put it in a plastic bag to avoid spills, and use that. No shortcuts! Push yourself! Great arms by June!

Jill Nelson 3/25/09

Most of us can recall moments when we desperately needed our father. Present or absent, what happens in those moments will influence how we see ourselves, men and family for much of our lives. Such a moment came for the singer Rihanna after she was allegedly beaten by Chris Brown on February 8. Whatever transpired on that day, it was a moment for this young woman’s father to step forward and say unequivocally that for any man to lay his hands on my daughter is unacceptable. As her father I will not tolerate it. I intend to do everything possible to make sure that my daughter heals, becomes stronger and moves forward understanding that a man who hits you is no man at all.

On another subject, great news that longtime activist and green jobs guru Van Jones will be joining President Obama’s cabinet. Yet another indicator that the new administration is seriously committed to both building an environmentally friendly, independent green economy and creating jobs for people of color in that new economy.

Now, to those arms. Do you have a photograph of how you’d like your arms to look? If you do, put it on the mirror, refrigerator, or somewhere you’ll see it and it can serve as inspiration. You might also have a friend take a picture of your arms NOW, so you can compare and see the progress as we begin this series of exercises.

First Exercise: ARM CIRCLES: Stand or sit up straight, look forward and extend arms to either side, shoulder height. With palms down, rotate the arms in 10 circles, first forward, than back. Center of the circle should be the shoulder. Turn palms upward and make 10 circles forward, and 10 circles back, for a total of 40 circles. Remember to breathe! Do this series of arms circle every day. Second exercise on Friday!

Jill Nelson 3/11/09

You’ve got to love all the hype around the right wing, reactionary, drug abusing, ranter Rush Limbaugh. His recent speech at the Conservative Political Action Committee conference (C-PAC) served to further marginalize a Republican Party devoid of ideas, incapable of bipartisanship, and morally and ethically bankrupt. Who better to underscore this than the out of shape, formerly drug addicted, never been elected to anything Limbaugh?

Blather about a “new” Republican Party aside, what better for the Obama administration than that it’s really Limbaugh who’s calling the shots and not Michael Steele, the black Republican water boy recently elected head of the Republican National Committee. In case anyone though the GOP had come to it’s senses, Limbaugh publicly put Steele in his place last week after Steele got uppity on D.L. Hughley’s show. Couldn’t be better if Obama planned it, and considering that he always seems eight or nine steps ahead of the opposition, he may well have.

Speaking of the Obama’s, in spite of efforts to create controversy, don’t we love Michelle Obama’s sculpted, powerful arms? Wouldn’t some of us would like to have muscular, confident, take care of business arms, too? I know I would! Beginning next week, join me on the journey to great arms, no special equipment necessary, just determination. Beautiful arms by June 1, just in time to slip into a sleeveless dress and show off all that hard work. Not to mention strong arms are handy for the usual taking care of business and heavy lifting.

Jill Nelson 3/6/09