Who knew the jargon ‘spring clean’ could take on an extreme meaning which include reassessing life and ridding of any noun– people, place, or thing—that’s destructive or simply doesn’t work. As flowers bloom and the season births forth signs of a new beginning, I am nothing less than intrigued.  Mother Nature is my mentor-of-the-moment, change is her middle name. Taking a coffee stroll the other day, I watched beautiful purple tulips sway in the wind, yet scattered among them were remnants of dirty dried leaves that I can readily recall welcoming their rustic color change last fall. Beautiful, ugly, beautiful, with a few rain showers and snow storms in between – is that the cycle of life?

By force or by choice, the essence of change is piercing to the flow of life. Sure, fine, done. I can embrace a light shower to rinse off of the residue and clear the film that clouds my vision. Who doesn’t need a refreshing change? Some of us adapt with ease, while others tend to resist. Years ago I embraced change and the consequence of my choices with ease. My marriage wasn’t working– we tried, nothing, done – divorce. Hated my job, loved my passion, started a company, done.  Problem, resolution, done.  

Now…. I’ve been nudged into change mode and something is happening….nothing. I’m stomping and splashing in the puddles instead of skipping in the rain. Light sprinkles are feeling like a torrential down pour and my little umbrella is flipped inside out—you know the scene.  What is going on here?!? Have I been spiraling in ‘ugly’ so long that now that my season is changing, and ‘beauty’ is sprouting I can’t find my life gardening tools?  I gotta get my galoshes out and keep moving right along – my hunch… I’m a bouquet away from something magnificent, sunshine. How about you?

 Lisa Newell

I’m off my media diet, the one that required that I consume no information: 1. About celebrities or celebrity culture 2. That confirms my negative expectations and 3. Makes me feel powerless. Within an hour without these information constraints I felt stressed, trivialized, overwhelmed, generally pissed off, and mentally, physically and psychically bloated. Barely a shred of focused, empowering, serious, positive, necessary information I could use was to be found in our world of infotainment. By the time I dug through to what was useful, I was so tired I passed out in the intellectual equivalent of a sugar overload!

Little had changed during my two weeks of curtailed info consumption, and what change there was was for the worst. Am I alone in thinking that if the racist, right wing citizens who can’t bear the existence of a President Barack Obama had arms and a treasury they’d secede like their literal and spiritual ancestors did in 1850 and and we’d be in the midst of the second Civil War? (FYI, they’re amassing arms at this moment.) Does anyone really believe their alleged concerns – about health care, deficit spending, domestic policy, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, judicial nominees, on and on and on – have do do with anything other than a policy of “Just Say No To Everything” when it comes from the Obama administration? Where were these jerks when Bush-Cheney were invading countries for no reason, erasing the Constitution, flipping the bird to victims of Hurricane Katrina, creating a Supreme Court majority of corporate lackeys, earning the United States most loathed nation status…I could go on, but I’m breaking out in a sweat, feel my blood pressure rising, and even though it’s not 9am I’m contemplating waiting outside the bakery until it opens so I can scarf a few cupcakes.

Dag, they’re even critical of Michelle Obama’s efforts to combat childhood obesity and encourage exercise and better eating. Apparently even these post-modern, 21st century updates on the tradition purview of Mammy and sharecropper are too much to bear coming from a smart, educated, uppity Black woman. It’s time, Mr. President, in the words of the civil rights era athem, to tell these racist, stupid, corporate lackeys masquerading as public servants to “move on over, or we’ll move on over you.” The nearly 70 million people who voted for you have your back, Barack, but nothing lasts forever. Time for the beatdown and the big payback, my brother. You are the ruler of the so-called free world.

Still, one must be on the information highway to find what information is true, useful and empowering. I am trying to find that balance. The diet was a pleasure and brought a redefinition of priorities. Now, I’ve just got to get the proportions right. Working on that new formula, will keep you posted. Please visit me at jillnelson.com and Stay Tuned for information and applications to attend my retreat, “Making the 3rd Chapter Fabulous: Prose! Pilates! Yoga! Passion!” August 31-September 5 on the lovely island of Martha’s Vineyard.

Jill Nelson 3/3/10 – The blog with the musical notes!

One of the questions asked in my January 1 column was how do I live  more purposeful life? Impossible to answer before we define what purposeful means. I’ve been giving this a great deal of thought and I think purposefulness encompasses all the questions that follow:

What does it mean to be generous? How do I remain emotionally open and intellectually curious as I grow older? Do I place myself first or last? What can I do to take better care of myself? What can I do to make my life/my community/the world a better, safer, more equitable place? What are three things I did in 2009 that I don’t want to do in 2010?What are three things I did in 2009 that I do want to continue doing in 2010? These are my 5 strengths: These are my 5 areas for growth:What does family mean to me?

For me a more purposeful life begins with taking better care of myself, physically, mentally and emotionally, and understanding that without self-love other love is transient, not transforming or transcendent. Then expanding outward to share and blend that clarity and sense of purpose with the many communities that intersect my life. With an open heart, laughter and joy! A coming together with myself and others.

Jill Nelson 2/19/10 – The blog with the musical notes!

Awoke to a city draped in falling snow and the muffled, seductive silence that comes with it. Absolutely lovely, especially since I don’t have to fight my way through it to get anywhere this morning, although I’ve got theatre tickets this evening for a show I’ve been anticipating and don’t plan to miss. The good news is the venue is 20 blocks away from home, walkable. As for those serious snow boots I’d kept in the box and fantasized about returning for sandals in the spring, they will be broken out today!

The cut-out-extraneous-media-information diet I started last week is going wonderfully. I’ve successfully avoided consciously consuming information: 1. About celebrities or celebrity culture 2. That will confirm my most negative expectations 3. That will make me feel powerless. It hasn’t been easy. I now make sure I have a book and my iPod with me at all times so that my eyes don’t wander to the magazine the person across the subway aisle or next to me on the bus is reading or overhear a radio, television or conversation that breaks my diet. How do I feel? Fantastic, free and very focused. I’ve lost so much unnecessary information and psychic weight, I’m extending the diet another week. Join me?

Many thanks to AJ, a reader who sent me her list of 5  strengths: Intelligent, Caring, Motivated, Sincere, Great Listener, and 5 Things She Could Change: Stubborn, Impulsive, Worrier, Moody, Holding Grudges. I was struck by the similarities between AJ’s list, my own, and the concerns that women have articulated to me in conversations. It seems to me there’s a commonality of perception here. Does that mean there’s a commonality of purpose as well? Are these the building blocks of a Sister Revolution? Hey, hope springs eternal.

Along with the media diet, I’m addressing those 5 Things I’d like to change: Impatient, Judgmental, Impetuous, Petty, Moody, Mercurial, by deep breathing and counting to 10. My mother always told me to do the latter, a suggestion I found profoundly annoying at the time, but most of the time it works, slowing down reaction time and demonstrating how unnecessary whatever my reaction was going to be is.

Send me your list, please.  Please email me at talktojill@jillnelson.com if you are interested in the retreat on Martha’s Vineyard. Also check out my web site, jillnelson.com.  Enjoy the snow! Surrender to and embrace winter – it’s here for a while!

Jill Nelson 2/10/10 – The blog with the musical notes!

Disappointing. Awful. Stupid.  Terrifying. Sad. Heart breaking.  Unfortunately, most of us have been there, maybe more than once. That nitty gritty moment in a relationship, after the initial blush of attraction, courtship, exchanging strategically edited biographies and great sex, when it begins to become clear that the idea of the relationship is more satisfying than the reality. Painful and discouraging, yes, but usually a private matter. Not this time, since the relationship that’s hitting the rocks is the collective one between millions of Americans and Barack Obama.

Words can barely describe the week that was. Supreme Court sells out democracy to corporate capitalism. Stock market plummets at the suggestion banks be held accountable. 200,000 estimated earthquake dead in Haiti. Republican wins Senate race in Massachusetts and Democrats lose 60 vote edge. Health care reform endangered. Unemployment continues to rise while no talent Conan O’Brien gets paid $33 million not to work,  and the list goes on and on and on.

We can either read it and weep or stand up, raise our voices and demand the CHANGE we voted – and frankly, with our donations of time and money, paid -  for.  President Obama, time to stop the search for non-existent bipartisanship; unity for the collective good of the American people; banks and Wall Streeters who have any interest but their own rapacious pursuit of money; corporations that care about anything but the bottom line of profit. Face it, they do not exist! Time to stop behaving as if you’re still running for President and start governing as President.

I’d suggest:

1. Firing Ben Bernanke, Timothy Geithner, Lawrence Summers, and anyone else whose first loyalty isn’t to the American people but to Goldman Sachs, Wall Street, or corporate capital.

2. Get rid of most of the Clinton-era policy wonks and militarists in your administration. These career cynics function to preserve the status quo, exactly what you said you’d shake up when you ran for office.

3. Get rid of David Axelrod, Robert Gibbs and whoever else was central to your campaign and stop behaving as if you’re still running for President. You are president, but if you continue behaving as if you’re running, you won’t be in 2012.

4. Appoint Michelle Obama a Special Advisor to the President. Hey, I’m as concerned about the fat kiddies as the next person – ditto the organic White House garden – but your wife’s intelligence, clarity and strength should not be wasted on these portfolios. You need her right in your ear. Seriously, is there anyone else you trust as much?

5. Understand the enemy. These vicious folks don’t give a damn about democracy, that’s just a rhetorical opiate for the people. For them, it’s all about the benjamins. Appealing to their better angels is a total waste of time – these devils don’t have any.  Time for you to use the bully pulpit and big stick and commence a political beatdown, Barack.

6. Stop underestimating your base. The nearly 70 million of people who voted for you sincerely want profound change. And we’re willing to help bring it on. Let us know what you need us to do, as long as it’s not further tamping down expectations and wooing the opposition.

7. Yes, we are the ones we’ve been waiting for. So are you! Be the change you want to see in the world.

Jill Nelson 1/22/10 – The blog with the musical notes!

London Welcomes 2010 Image courtesy European Pressphoto Agency

It’s not easy welcoming in the new year, and I’ve still got black eye peas and greens to cook. Couldn’t let the new year arrive without the tradition foods representing luck and money. Below a few things to think about as we slip into 2010. Easy thoughts, please, no stress allowed. And I’d love to know what’s on your minds as well. Email me in the comments section below, or for more privacy at talktojill@jillnelson.com and let me know what you’re thinking about, feeling, concerned with. Enjoy your day! Gotta chop those greens and go play the lottery!

How do I live a more purposeful life?

What does it mean to be generous?

How do I remain emotionally open and intellectually curious as I grow older?

Do I place myself first or last?

What can I do to take better care of myself?

What can I do to make my life/my community/the world a better, safer, more equitable place?

What are three things I did in 2009 that I don’t want to do in 2010?

What are three things I did in 2009 that I do want to continue doing in 2010?

These are my 5 strengths:

These are my 5 areas for growth:

What does family mean to me?

Jill Nelson 1/1/10 – The blog with the musical notes!

Rumors of the spontaneous combustion of Rush Limbaugh, spokes-idiot for the angry, racist, frightened citizens of the dying white culture, at the news that President Obama received the Nobel Peace Prize were greatly exaggerated. The good news is that Limbaugh was expelled from participation in a group interested in purchasing the St. Louis Rams NFL football franchise when it became clear that the players and their union had no intention of playing under Limbaugh’s ownership. Sorry, Rush, you’re a few hundred years late. In 2009 you’ve got no chance of buying a gaggle of big black bucks to do your work for you and make you richer.

On his radio show Thursday Limbaugh claimed he’s a casualty of “Obama’s America.” I take it he means the democratic, multi-racial, bipartisan, not white privileged, arrogant, or bullying decent America millions voted for? Hey, I’d be paranoid too, dude. What place, or need, would such an America have for Rush, FAUX – er, F OX – News, et al? (Or much of the so-called “mainstream” media as it currently operates.)

To help keep track of what Limbaugh and his ilk are up to and to respond immediately with a click of your mouse, I suggest bookmarking the web sites of Media Matters for America, The Color of Change, and Presente and signing up for their alerts. Contrary to what James Brown sang, these days you can get involved without getting up.

Jill Nelson 10/16/09 – The blog with the musical notes!

I was never able to watch a George W. Bush speech through to its conclusion. I couldn’t stand looking at his self-satisfied, oblivious smirk or hearing his flat, robotic delivery. I’m also convinced I could feel my brain cells dying, either incinerated by the rage Shrub invariably evoked or deadened by the quantum leap in awfulness he and his cronies brought to America.

That said, I’m looking forward to Barack Obama’s speech tonight on health care. Unlike his predecessor, Obama is a pleasure to listen to. He is brilliant, eloquent and a master when it comes to using language and rhetoric to inspire, no small accomplishment. Yet truly, in these awful days it is time for substance to trump style. What I’m hoping for tonight is to see Barack Obama in full presidential, populist, fighting mode. I’m looking for an eloquent, elegant, scathing beatdown of all those in Congress and industry who would deny health care to every American. I’m looking for a defense of single payer insurance. A history lesson that we already have socialized medicine, it’s called Medicare. I need the president to expose the fact that most who oppose a national health care program already have health insurance. I’m looking for him to call out the insurance companies. Tonight, I’m looking Candidate Obama, the man who promised us hope, progress, change we can believe in, not the bipartisan obsessed conciliator.

Wow. I guess I’m looking for George W. Bush when he browbeat Congress and the American people into supporting the unjustifiable, disasterous invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan. Tonight we need a president who uses his bully pulpit not in service to the military-industrial complex and the fat cats, but to working people.

Jill Nelson – 9/9/09 – The blog with the musical notes!

The murder of Dr. George Tiller, 67, as he stood in the vestibule of his Wichita, Kansas church on May 31 and the murder of 39-year-old Stephen T. Johns, a security guard at the Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC, are painful and tragic reminders of the violence that dominates the thread that weaves the fabric of America. These deaths are not aberrations, but rather the manifestation of the worst of a twisted American psyche that stokes fear, anger, and scapegoating. A culture that makes violence seem a viable resolution to love gone sour, policy disagreements, madness – whether as govenment policy in invading Iraq or in the hands of a berserk individual at home – and obtaining the means of violence easy.

Dr. Tiller’s senseless murder by 51-year-old anti-abortion zealot Scott Roeder and Officer Johns’ murder by James von Brunn, a demented 88-year-old white supremacist remind us, in these early days of relief and hope in Obamaland, that the trinity of fear, hatred, and violence thrives. It touches all of our lives, directly or indirectly, at home and abroad, American or not. It is, in fact, one of our most effective and lucrative products, domestic and international, thanks to the munitions manufacturers, the military-industrial complex, and the violence as a policy instrument that has for so long defined American identity at home and abroad.

Changing ourselves is difficult. How then do we transform and tame our violent culture?
Ideas welcome.

Jill Nelson 6/12/09 – The blog with the musical notes!

Let’s Get It On
Chapter One, Part III
Wanda

What pretty lips they were, full, dark, perfectly shaped. Since even in a court of law, honesty is the best policy, and though I’m no longer on the witness stand, I remain sworn to tell the truth, I confess that even if he’s old enough to be my father and, at least up until now, I’ve been partial to younger men, I couldn’t keep from fantasizing about those lips of C. Virgil’s. Kissing that warm place behind my ear, slowly traveling down my neck, gently licking, then drifting lazily south to fasten onto that small place between my neck and collarbone where, when kissed, sucked, and nibbled just right, it felt so good it made me simultaneously giggle and cringe in ecstasy. Power is an aphrodisiac, and C. Virgil had my whole world in his hands: it’s no wonder I was turned on.
Hey, standing in court daydreaming about being made transcendent love to by a handsome judge—or, truth be told, anyone else—may sound strange, but sex is my business. I’m the chief financial officer of A Sister’s Spa, located just outside Reno, Nevada. In business just over two years, we’re wildly successful, and not just because we offer massage, aerobics, herbal wraps, and a relaxing place for stressed-out women to spend a few days. In addition to great food, wonderful atmosphere, and every spa treatment imaginable, A Sister’s Spa also sells fabulous, safe sex delivered by gorgeous young men trained in the art of pleasuring women. Come for either the In and Out, our shortest package—a massage and sex expertly delivered in four hours—or the Total Healing Deluxe, two nights, three days, unlimited spa services, and sex with as many sex workers as you can handle in the combination of your choice. And we guarantee you’ll leave relaxed, loose, and planning your next visit. Not to mention with a Cheshire cat smirk on your face.

Sometimes, you just need a break. From daily life, the job, current events. Especially from the last two weeks. Enough of the racist, sexist, class biased, moronic, death throes of the dying white male culture attacks on Supreme Court nominee Judge Sonia Sotomayor. How sickening that Dr. George Tiller was murdered in his church by an anti-choice zealot, no doubt emboldened by the right wing idiots of radio and television.

Underneath the bad stuff, the good news is that these are the birth pains of the new, more equitable society that is possible – if we the people are willing to do the work to create it. Memo to white guys: The change done come. Your reign is ending, and always better to get ahead of the ball than let it roll on over you. You are no longer the norm. And if you’re not a part of the solution, you’re definitely part of the problem.

Back to that break. My second novel, Let’s Get It On, a sequel to Sexual Healing, was published yesterday, June 2, and is in bookstores now. You can find out more about it at my new website. I’m going to serialize some of Chapter 1, beginning Friday and continuing for several weeks.

And how are those arms going? By popular demand – and slacking off! – I’ve decided to extend the Great Arms by June deadline to July. Keep working, and add reps or weight if the exercises are getting too easy or you are getting bored.

Jill Nelson – 6/3/09 – The blog with musical links!