Self-image is one of those words that if you pay attention, stirs up a lot of discomfort for most women. When I talk about “low self-image”, it stirs up avoidance for many because it is one of those words that unconsciously triggers embarrassment because of the stories we connect to admitting it.

This can actually be a trap, because since we are so conditioned to reject ourselves, especially women, if we refuse to look at our feelings honestly we will never be able to release the stories about our self-image that are holding us back.

They are only stories, as there is really nothing “wrong” with you. What you think and what you do, is not the same as WHO you ARE. At our core, our Authentic Self is “powerful beyond measure”. Unfortunately, if we don’t peel away the “cataracts of the soul” as I like to call them, these stories, we will stay blinded to our true potential and we will tend to continue to believe that we can’t be as successful as we could be.

I am now free of the identity story that “something is wrong with me” or that I am not “good enough”. I suffered through life unnecessarily believing this for most of my adult life. Now that I’m free of it, it is much easier for me to change, take risks and have the confidence to throw off the opinions of others – just think about it a moment.

As women, we are bombarded with comparison of ourselves to other’s standard very early in our childhood and it only gets worse as adults. The media is constantly telling you to change something about yourself and it profits greatly off of our insecurities. Men of course, are not conditioned in these ways to reject themselves.

Just notice the ratio of the references to the image or self-esteem of men compared to women as it relates to the need to “improve” something and you will see implied deficiencies in women far, far exceed those made for men. What is self-image and why does it matter in business? We cannot rise above our self-image and stay there in peace.

Self-image is just that; it’s the way you see yourself. In the days that I had inner turmoil around worth, being enough etc, though I used a lot of will power and determination to achieve my goals, I tended toward self-sabotage or stress in attempting to maintain my station. If you are not obsessed like I was with proving I was good enough, chances are, you will not be able to overcome your inner self-image in the first place.

I find that what defines self-image is so often misunderstood, and there seems to be outright ignorance around why it is so important to life success.

Here are a few facts and myths about self-image that can be related to business success. The facts about low self-image are:

1. Contributes big time to worry about what others think and say about you
2. A MAJOR contributor to stress, and this has been studied in science
3. The reason why many, many women do not speak their truth or speak up
4. A cause of poor or dysfunctional relationships, fear of networking
5. A contributing factor in fear of risk taking or expanding business growth

Here are some myths about self-image:

1. Physically beautiful women always have high self-image
2. Intellectually advanced women by default have healthy self-image
3. Having lots of education and degrees eliminates self-image issues
4. All wealthy women/people have high self-image
5. Arrogant people have a high self-image or they would not be arrogant and rude (this is one of the biggest myths going on out there – just the opposite is true)

This list is not complete. There are other facts and myths as well. The point I am making is that until you understand what the symptoms of low self-image are, you will be inclined to think that “it’s just the way I am or the way life is”.

Life is a mirror to what you believe at a subconscious level and until you recognize this, you may continue to live in unnecessary struggle and emotional pain. Awareness is power. I know from experience that most of the myths are false, as I lived them. My self-image was so low I could not even fake arrogance.

I had an “I am not good enough” complex that was generally pretty obvious if I even dared to let you get close enough to figure it out. Truth really does set one free, free from the nonsensical stories that we believe to be true, yet are only one way of seeing life. If you believe it then it’s true for you. I believe what I believe – until I change my mind.

You have the ability and the right to change your mind. This is the ONLY way you will grow and expand. Whatever you have in your life is there by right of your consciousness, your awareness. Want more abundance and peace in your life? Be it unto you, as you truly believe.

We will become more successful as women entrepreneurs when we get to the heart of the matter and let go of the myths and deal with, without judgment the facts that we see before us in our lives. And here is the good news. You already have “got the Power”. You’ve just been looking for it in all the wrong places – hint: look within you. What do you think?

Valencia Ray, MD

The Confidence Doc

Career and business is the vehicle by which money flows into our life for the majority of people. You can find people who work 80-hour weeks, two jobs and may even beg, borrow or steal to get it. Here’s the essential question; does money make you do it?

It’s like the old Flip Wilson comedian who use to say “The devil made me do it” (by the way, devil is “lived” spelled backwards which is the way we often think about money in the first place). Money is often at the root of marital problems, particularly when there’s a shortage of it, social status, quality of healthcare and lifestyle.

People are blatantly in a love-hate relationship with it and to the degree that you are unaware of your unconscious beliefs about money; you can sabotage your business and relationships success as well as run your health into the ground. The idea that money is “bad” is one reason why many women entrepreneurs struggle with achieving the level of business success they desire, yet they really want to have more money to provide for their families and yes, go shopping without getting into debt. Why is this? How did money get blamed for what we choose to do with it?

Notice the keyword here: choice. The catch is, to the degree that you are aware or not is the degree to which you can manage money in a healthy, abundant manner. Money cannot tell you what to do with it, and it cannot “make” you do anything. The issue is that we project our values and beliefs onto it and then use it accordingly. If we believe we are “good people” and money is “bad”, then we will tend to either struggle to attract it, or lose it almost as fast as we receive it.

If we think we are unworthy and that only “lucky” or “good people” have abundance, then we again, will manage to keep money out of our lives. Then there are the “but what will they think about me if I have it” stories. These are linked to our perceptions that others will reject us if we have more than they do. What about power? We are taught that money is power, yet those who secretly feel internally insecure are often the most likely to hide behind their money or strive to maintain “power over” others with their money.

So, money makes them do this, right? I say “wrong”.

Money is energy and it is a tell-tell indicator of the consciousness of the person controlling it. It is actually a type of teacher in that it shows you what you unconsciously believe about your personal power, worth and ability to interact with others in integrity. It’s energy in that it solves or creates problems, again based on the mission it was sent on.

And what I have experienced is, the healthier my self-image became and the more I actually dealt with my unconscious limiting beliefs about money, the more generous I became and the more money I have. Money is only one aspect of living the abundant, whole life. It makes life easier when you have a consciousness based in gratitude, spirit and the awareness of the unity of life.

We can do great things or destructive things, we can provide employment or we can go out of business – all based on how we perceive money. An abundant whole life is going to be contingent on having the energy, the money, to cover whatever the outflow or expenses are. How much is enough? When you are coming from a place of love and abundance, you are far less likely to fall to greed and you can recognize that there is more than enough to meet your heart’s desire.

The Mirror of Life will reflect to you your hidden money relationship. Money is the bystander that is standing on ready to reveal to you where you need to expand the vision for your life – if you would only be willing to perceive it! What do you think?

Valencia Ray, MD

The Confidence Doc

Career transition has money and career on many women’s minds lately. Since many women are sensing the change in the air, I’ve heard several comments about using this time of workplace instability to “find your bliss”.

What I’ve noticed is that often it is believed that if you “just do what you love”, you will be successful and your hobby will morph into a business that can take the place of your job. It would be nice if all we had to do were “build it and they will come”.

Nowadays, this is not even the case and what is really not likely to happen is that you will suddenly find yourself with a thriving business by simply following your bliss. No, what you are going to have to do is have a vision and a plan in place to put structure to your bliss so that it can take form in the marketplace.

This I know for sure, as I currently am following my bliss and I’ve had to take lots of action to turn it into a business. When I was a practicing physician opening a brick and mortar office it was obvious. Starting an online business or building a speaking or coaching business is no different in that you still have to know where you want to go and put structure around your ideas to bring it into manifestation.

If you do not, your bliss is going to stay a hobby. It is easy for people to get confused when they hear already successful people say things like “don’t worry about the money, just do your bliss” and assume that the well known successful one just became that way by showing up. If it were that simple everyone would just follow their bliss and watch the employees, programs, education and training and all other support just show up.

While I would not suggest you ever “worry” about money, (it’s a great way to stay broke or stress out trying to get and hang on to it – worry is a form of lack consciousness), the truth is, you are going to have to take action and do some planning. So, what are some things you need to consider as you consider leaving that job you hate or if you have been laid off?

Here are some things I did as I decided to continue to grow and move on to my next career adventure:

1. I became clear about the next step of my life purpose and began to keep my eyes and ears open for guidance. When the perfect opportunity arose, I leaped at it. If you find yourself pushed out of your job box, you may not have this option.

2. In either case, once you are launched into the unknown, begin to get as clear as you can about the overall end result of your vision. Don’t concern yourself with the “how to” and stay flexible. The vision is just to give you a target to focus your brain/mind on. A foggy vision makes for fear and panic as your fear center is bound to become involved in self-sabotaging you.

3. In my case, I knew nothing about the web, speaking or coaching business and I had much to learn. I did not even know what a blog was. I always have had an overall vision, so as I stay present, listen and learn, the next step continues to show up. For example, I found the perfect coaching program and while I was in training, I dove in and started learning about the web. Over that year I became quite proficient. If you don’t have the resources financially to support you, consider alternatives of course. This is why having a clear vision is so important out the gate because if you don’t, you are bound to be side-tracked by fear and the tendency to fall back into looking for the old standby – no matter how much you hated what you did at work.

These are just general starting suggestion, yet the key here is you must gain CLARITY. If you cannot articulate your business plan, you are in trouble. If you have no model for how to earn income, your bliss will never be more than a hobby.

Also, beware if you think that thinking about money and bliss cannot go together. This is an indication of an unconscious money sabotaging limiting belief. Money is neutral and is the system we all use to exchange energy and time. If you are not putting it in the equation, the chances of your bliss providing a means for you to live on is dead out the gate. You may as well resign yourself to having a hobby and go look for another job.

I love what I do and yes, and I could do it for free for those who I’m meant to serve but had no visible resources. However, since I don’t happen to have multiple millions sitting in a drawer somewhere, I need to create wealth as I follow my bliss. True, I may choose to occasionally provide free service, yet I do not believe the Universe intends for me to be financially barren in my service to others. This idea that spirit/purpose and money doesn’t mix gives the Universe a bum rap.

If I want to expand my services to serve many people and support other organizations that align with my purpose, I had better have a business and vision that will allow for this. “Follow your bliss” is a catchy idea, and having a clear vision and taking inspired action is the reality of the human experience manifestation process. What do you think?

Valencia Ray, MD

The Confidence Doc

Confidence is a key element to empowerment. If you can’t speak up, take risks or all too often buckle under the opinions of others, your gifts and talents will likely never reach authentic expression. Let me say that confidence from the core, authentic self is what I am referring to.

Not the “fake it ’till you make it” to whatever status you believe holds the magical key to empowerment. I’m referring to knowing that you know that the “real you” is already ok, just because you breathe. The starting point from this place is assuming that you are not broken, just in evolution, like the plant in the garden that is in the process of unfolding to its true beauty and potential.

We as a society tend to come from a mindset of lack and deficiency – the old paradigm of selfishness and “survival of the fittest”. This is just one way of seeing life; it is not the only way. We live in a world of infinite potential, and what determines how you experience “reality” is based on your perceptual system. How you wire your brain and nervous system really matters.

And get this; what runs your life is generally the 90% that is out of your awareness and comes from the unconscious part of your mind. So, why is self-love so important and why is it not ok to beat yourself up and put yourself down? Aren’t we taught that this is “humble”? Isn’t it “pride” to think good of yourself? Isn’t it “narcissistic”?

Narcissism stems from fear and is often rooted in insecurity. When you come from core confidence, you know that there is no need to compare yourself and judge worth and value between people. Yes, we vary in the expression of our gifts and talents, yet at our essence, the “founders” of our country had it correct when they said, “all men (and women) are created equal”.

When you come to know this Authentic Self, the essence of your very life force, you can begin to separate yourself from the “stories” of who you think you are that keep you stuck and playing small. These stories that you’ve wired into your mind and nervous system can be re-written when you are ready to accept the challenge. And it is much simpler than you may think.

In the meantime, rejecting yourself will only keep you stuck. Why or how does this work? Here are 3 reasons why self-love is not narcissism and why you want to convert to self-love and stop putting yourself down.

1. Narcissism by definition is rooted in fear and judgment. It is seeking hierarchy and “power over” others based on comparison and disrespect. When we come from “I am better than you” or “my needs are most important – period”, we are coming from lack. Often, low self-esteem and self-absorption based on this is the cause of narcissism.

2. Self-love stems from awareness of the Divine spirit that is within you and the source of life itself. It has to do with respect for self and all of life and just acknowledges the gift of life that you are. It is compassionate and says, “I’m growing” and I can see the abundance in light in life, instead of coming from a place of fear and lack. It is giving our self space to grow and expand without shame and guilt – which are the two “terrorizing twins” that keep us playing small and losing in life. Love grows and expands us; fear constricts.

3. One cannot rise above and stay above their self-image. Your brain seeks to make you “right” in the way that you really “see” yourself (self-image). When I lived in self-rejection, I used sheer will power to push my way to my goals in the hopes of finding abundance and peace. What I realized is that self-sabotage, in its many forms (even Tiger had to learn this one), will kick in if you do not deal with the “blind spots” that distort your self-image in a proactive way. Also, be informed that negative self-talk has been shown to provoke the stress response in your body and stress accounts for up to 90% of primary care doctor visits. Your subconscious mind is going to show you via the Mirror of Life what you REALLY believe about yourself and life.

In this time of change there is also great opportunity for growth. The more you embrace who you are, with love and compassion, the more likely you are to be kind and accepting of others. This is a winning formula for success as when you feel deserving of success, you can stop all of the procrastination and confusion around your business success, relationships and you are even likely to stay healthier and have more life energy.

Core confidence can only come from the inside out when you make the time to consider – and love – who you really are. What do you think?

Valencia Ray, MD
The Confidence Doc

Is your head in the game?  Although I tend to be more of a spectator than an athletic participant of sports, I simply love a high stakes competitive game. Growing up in box seats of the Chicago Stadium, the highs and lows of basketball is in my blood. Name the game– I was there fully engaged, from the old school players to the unrivaled Michael Jordan– to see is to truly believe. But off-season hockey, who knew?  We must congratulate the Chicago Blackhawks for winning the Stanley Cup last night!

Over five years ago, the Chicago Blackhawks were mocked by media as the worst team in all of the national association of sports, but last night they won the highest honor of the game.  It’s been a turbulent 49 years in the making, but it proves that stamina, determination and mental strength will resurrect the so-called dead. Sounds like the game of life! Seemingly you can spend a lifetime practicing, but know that perfection is in the making.  That is my motherhood mantra.

Take a timeout, get a mental coach, keep forging forward and defy the odds!

Lisa Newell

Being a woman entrepreneur and professional myself has given me a genuine hands on perspective of what it means to succeed in business and yet stay at the top of my game with my professional skills.

In my case, I was a practicing eye surgeon who right out of fellowship training took a corporate job for a couple of years, just long enough to get my practice up and running. After over two decades of owning and operating my practice (I had also acquired my mentor’s large practice when he retired), I sold it to do what I am doing now.

I help women entrepreneurs and professionals eliminate the blind spots that limit their self-image and constrict their vision for business success and it should be noted that the two are definitely linked.

In fact, how we see ourselves also constricts our relationships, including our ability to network effectively, how we dress, the opportunities and risks we are willing to expose ourselves to and even impacts our overall health in a huge way. I just came across an article in the small business section of the Wall Street Journal dated Monday, May 17, 2010 on “What’s Holding Back Women Entrepreneurs?” and I would recommend it for sure. Here are two highlights that the author, Sharon G. Hadary, sited as being the answer to this question and I quote:

1. First, you have women’s own self-limiting views of themselves, their businesses and the opportunities available to them.

2. But equally problematic are the stereotypes, perceptions and expectations of business and government leaders.

Now here’s what I know from my own personal experience; number one is more powerful than number two. When you deal with number one, you are far better equipped to deal with negativity from others.

From my own life, I had many challenges from number two right down to being told to my face that I would not be able to get through college short of five years (well, I did it in three with honors), and that I would never be able to get into medical school as it was too competitive (my performance was stellar enough to have medical schools pursue me to apply).

Then when it came time to start my business, I was told by the “authorities” all of the horrible statistics about failure, blah, blah, blah. My conclusion?

While you had better prepare yourself, the most important element is how you see yourself as if you have the epidemic belief that you are “not good enough” or that you are unworthy, or that women can only do “so much”, you will hold yourself back out the gate. If you do have strong will power like I had in those days, you can push through but later you will feel like “a fraud” (this is so common) when you become successful and start to self-sabotage.

To summarize, I made a commitment years ago to start breaking through these self-limiting stories and I have come much closer and continue to unfold the “real me”. It is about using the powerful, practical information from neuroscience which addresses your human brain and nervous system and combining it with intuitive and spiritual aspects of yourself to breakthrough the fear that we as women are conditioned to believe about ourselves and our lives.

I have learned tools and processes that I use on myself and teach my clients that literally can cause a quantum shift in perception that allows for a new vision for business success, happier relationships and good health and to create these shifts fast – and they last as they come from the inside out.

With new eyes, you can see new opportunities and with a healthy self-image, you are able to act from your authentic self without the fear of the opinions of others or fear of failure. Developing your business alongside of letting go of those internal voices that hold you back goes a very long way toward lasting business success and living the life that is well lived, the one you know that you are really meant to live.

Have you noticed that having the marketing or business plan information and being able to take action and get results are two different things? Have you wondered what makes that difference?  What do you think?

Valencia Ray, MD

The Confidence Doc

Healthcare is on many people’s minds these days. Unfortunately it is a heavy weight on most people’s minds as they are focused on worry, or actually “dis-ease” care when it comes to their health.

This is a part of the very problem we are faced with – worry and focus on disease. Your brain does not like stress; in fact it is toxic to brain cells and a health hazard in general. I believe that the financial pressure from our existing system will likely be the last straw that breaks the camel’s back.

I don’t care how much money is pumped into the system, until the waste stops and people change their paradigm, their belief system about HOW they think – about themselves, their bodies and life in general – the system is going to fail ultimately.

What do I mean by “how we think”? We focus on fear and what we don’t want without realizing that this is not only damaging our brains, it’s creating the very havoc we see in our lives. The hormones and processes that are released in your body when your worry and stress (both based in fear) can not only kill off brain cells, it can damage your heart, your immune system, your digestive tract and your musculoskeletal system…among other things.

Now, instead of business as usual, which is to believe that if you could just pop a pill or make other people act the way you want them to behave, if you make the time to decide to change your mind – and I do mean change your brain and mind – you can begin to shift the gears that lead to destruction in your health.

Also, you can save yourself a lot of pain, suffering and money. The answer? Learn “brain hygiene”, in other words learn how to cleanse your brain/mind of the pollutants of negative thoughts/emotions which boils down to fear. Until we learn how to obtain and maintain peace within ourselves, we can forget about seeing it “out there”.

Peace of mind begins within; you will not be able to buy it or to obtain it by trying to “fix” others. What we judge harshly in others are only projections from our own perception, parts of our story of the “Mental Me” that we don’t want to deal with.

Mindfulness meditation has been shown quite scientifically to slow down the runaway train of the busy mind and the benefits range from improved physical health to happy relationships. And, by default, good physical health and great relationships almost always translates to improved financial health.

At the root of all three is spiritual health. When we learn to take our ego fears and release them and rewire our brains, we can get the “cataracts of the soul” out of the way so that our inner Light can shine. The power of Light and inner peace is a force that can change not only your world, but also the world. A healthy you will create a healthy world.  Any thoughts?

Valencia Ray, MD

The Confidence Doc

Empowerment is a frequent topic these days and I think it is reflective of where
we are in our evolutionary growth as humankind. It seems pretty obvious to me that people are looking for answers other than business as usual.

One thing for sure is that we cannot solve some of our current challenges by looking in our current memory toolbox of how to solve problems. The consciousness or “mindset” that that got us here will not be the same ways of thinking that help us to change the world.

I don’t equate change with “bad”. Why not just see things as evolving to the next level, especially when it comes to individual growth? Now here’s the dilemma – the Universe is still expanding and unfolding, yet, because of the way that we have as a whole conditioned our brain we tend to fear change.

We are still “unfolding” just as the Universe is. While there is more to us than meets the eye, meaning at our core we have a spiritual essence, a “True Self”, we still live and experience life as human beings living in a physical body.

Without this body, you cannot effect change or be alive as we generally think of it relating to being on the earth. So, while I’ve heard the saying “we are spiritual beings having a human experiences”, we need to learn how to skillfully live into both aspects of our natures.

We need to become aware of how to manage our human body’s sensory/perception system – the brain and mind. Otherwise you can be so “heavenly bound that you are no earthly good”. Enter Neuroscience.

What I love about the expanding field of science is that while it is not infallible by any means, and while there is often not black and white consensus to the outcome of research (why would there be considering scientists are human also the last time I checked), the information and insights gained in the past decade can go a very long way with helping humanity to consciously begin to switch gears from a fear-based/competitive paradigm of the world to a more love/good for all paradigm.

A new paradigm could come from a place of developing the talents of individuals to be contributed to the whole. People could thus become more self-actualized and self-sustaining while at the same time society can move away from lack focus and keeping the “next guy” down. What is good for individuals will be good for the whole and the planet if approached from a higher level of awareness.

You see, we are all making up the story of the human drama anyway, so we may as well give the chapter a happier ending than we have historically been doing in the past few thousand years. Given all the chaos both within us and in the outer environment, I think the new science as arrived in a nick of time. Why?

We have been so out of balance in the way we use our brains that we generally are stuck in the “logical” brain, and this side also tends toward fear and separation. It is time to learn how to change with conscious intent not only how we see ourselves but also how we see others since again, this is due to perception and the stories that we wire into our nervous system. Most people believe that “reality” is a solid “out there”. Einstein said decades ago:

“Reality is an illusion; albeit a very persistent one”

The more science I’ve learned and blended with my intuitive mind and ancient success principles, the more I have been able to dump my own self-limiting beliefs and cast off a sense of low self-image. This is critical if we want to experience world peace. Why?

It is because we cannot have compassion for others until we have it for ourselves. Until there is self-acceptance, just because we breathe and no other reason, we will continue to struggle with comparing ourselves with others, greed, envy and a host of other negative emotional experiences.

No one can tell me otherwise, as from my point of experience, it has only been since I’ve become aware of how I was negatively wiring my brain and nervous system with self-limiting, deprecating beliefs and stopped doing this that my quality of life has sky-rocketed. Since I’ve learned how to release these negative cellular memories my peace of mind has been on a trajectory upward.

I’m all for ending human suffering and I think that we will take a giant step in this direction when we learn how to embrace change and this can really only be done when we learn how to set ourselves free from the tyranny of the fear-based stories we unwittingly have wired into our own brain. Train your brain to win from the inside out. It is more than possible; it can simply become your new “reality” if you open your mind to change. What do you think?

Valencia Ray, MD
The Confidence Doc

Staying healthy and stress seems to be on a lot of people’s minds lately. I came across an article recently that referred to the new study done by Dr. Anil Sood and others in the Journal of Clinical Investigation, that demonstrates that when experiencing stress, mice and humans had acceleration in the growth of cancer cells, in this case, ovarian.

The bottom line – stress is hazardous to your health. Many people do not realize that the chronic feelings of “overwhelm” that they feel – you know, not enough hours in the day, long “to-do” lists and not enough rest and sleep – is really what stress is.

It is the feeling that you cannot control what is happening to you and it is also the fear that you are under threat of some kind, be it job loss and even feelings of insecurity. Yes, it has also been shown that low self-esteem can trigger this stress response in your body. So, is stress something that “you cannot help”?

Do you believe that if your environment where different that then and only then, you can overcome overwhelm? If you believe this, you are like most people. I used to buy into this one back in the 1990’s. It was then that I first experientially realized that stress starts within, it is an inside issue.

It is not the “facts” that cause stress. It is not the things that are happening around you as much as it is the “fiction”, the story about the meaning of the facts. It is about where you are putting your focus and whether or not you are taking care of your mind and body – from the inside out.

See, I thought then like most people, that if I could only change my circumstances that I would have more time and would be able to rest more and have more fun. So, in a nutshell, I was able to create a situation where I went from single-handedly running a large medical practice, managing employees and doing surgery, to arranging a situation where I only worked 8 hours a week with no other responsibility than to see patients in the office.

That’s right, I did not even do surgery or have the responsibility of practice management. This should have instantly alleviated my stress, right? Wrong, I still felt stress and I think I had ADHD in those days to add insult to injury. Through a series of events, I came to realize that the inner turmoil was from a combination of how I thought about myself along with my inner perception about the world and those around me.

Once I learned how to change this, and I will say that one powerful tool is mindfulness meditation, I “magically” found more time and felt more inner peace of mind than I had felt in decades. It is not the facts, what is going on around you; it is your interpretation, your story that creates stress.

Once I had a grip on my mind and feelings and was able to eliminate the misperceptions, I eventually went back into my private practice, purchased my mentors practice and had everything twice the size as before I left. The amazing thing was, I was happy, not stressed and had more time to take care of myself than ever before.

The facts were not only the same as before, there was even more to handle! What changed was my “fiction”, my story and how I saw the facts and what I thought about myself. When your perception changes, you see things that you did not see before and you take new actions. You also impact the actual physiology of your body.

Staying healthy begins with mindset and understanding how to eliminate the noise in your mind, the stuff that “you don’t know that you don’t know”. Stress can be mastered when you learn this new science of the brain and how to combine it with wisdom principles to be applied in a practical way in your everyday life. Staying healthy and empowering yourself begins from the inside out!

Valencia Ray, MD
The Confidence Doc

Career transition and the world, as we know it is changing right before our eyes. This can be a scary proposition if you come from a place of fear and hold on to the belief system that change is a “bad” thing.

Stop and think about it a moment. Change is the one thing that is guaranteed in life and if you resist it, it is like trying to stop a Mack truck by refusing to get out of it’s way. You WILL be smashed! Now the other alternative is to accept the inevitable and proactively learn how to revamp the way that you have been conditioned to see life.

The old way was that by the time we are about 18-21 years of age, just out of childhood, we are suppose to figure out our life path for the rest of our lives and not deviate – even if the ladder is against the “wrong” wall or if we’ve outgrown it. This is the path to pain and suffering and it is why so many people hate Monday morning and sing, “thank God it’s Friday” at the end of the week.

What a sad and miserable way to live. It doesn’t have to be this way. I believe that many, many people know that they are stuck and want to move on, yet they are fearful of change for many reasons. Some are the reasons are:

1. What will “they” think if I change my mind?
2. How will I do it?
3. What do I want?
4. Life is suppose to be like _________ (control)
5. I’m not good enough to ____________

All of these examples are based in FEAR. Not the fear of physical threat; this is psychological – Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality. I say fictitious as while the facts may be unsettling, it’s your story about the facts that will make or break you. Two examples from my life:

1. At the age of 18, I decided I would become a doctor. I had no role models for this field, no money to go to college (my father’s income kept me from even obtaining a student loan, but he was not paying), and I came from a lousy public school in Chicago (long story). I was clear what I wanted to do, the “how” looked impossible. Yet, within 7 years I had my degree with honors, my MD degree and was in a very competitive eye surgery-training program; and the rest is history.

2. I was a practicing eye surgeon for over two decades and ran a very successful practice. However, the time came when I knew it was time for me to move on. The long/short of it is by listening to my guidance, the perfect buyer showed up and I have moved on instead of waiting until something unpleasant happened to push me out. I have even seen doctors drop dead of heart attacks after staying on when they were obviously no longer doing what they loved. I did not want to wait until boredom set in, and I’ve learned to trust myself and go for it. Is the path completely clear? No. I’m I still glad I did it? Absolutely. I am happy and moving right along in my life purpose. We are in a time of much change and the more you learn to let go of fear, the better off you will be.

Notice, I could not see the “how” in point number one, and I could have quit and created all sorts of stories about why it could not happened. This would have been the “fictitious evidence. In fact there were plenty of people around me to create stories for me that said I would never be able to do it.

I can give you several other magical stories like this. I don’t have time for the details here, yet I will say that I have gone from being a fear-based “control freak” to loving my life, myself and getting into the flow of life. The key?

Start reconnecting to the voice of your authentic self and learn about your own brain and mind so that you can consciously use your powerful nervous system to your benefit and stop scaring yourself to death. Did you know that stress, which is psychologically induced, is hazardous to your health? It’s time to live as a whole, empowered person.

Yes, you have a spirit/intuition that needs nourishing, AND you live in a human body that is run by a five sensory system. You can change your mind easier and live more powerfully, when you understand this. You can breakthrough fear, take action and stay healthy and it all begins with – mindset. Career transition and change does not have to terrify you if you know how to do it, from the inside out!

Valencia Ray, MD
The Confidence Doc